People need different amounts of interaction with others. This can differ from person to person, even within a family. For example, my younger sister is happy to get on with her life in her bedroom with the door closed. She could be in there all day, doing homework, being on the computer, making dresses, playing the guitar, anything that she wanted to get up to. But she is quite happy getting on with them on her own. Where as I get so lonely if I have to be on my own for an evening. I hardly spend any time in my bedroom. When I go to my family home, I only really go in my room to sleep unless I am staying round a friends house. I stick to my mum like glue just because I just need someone to talk to. I just get very sad when I am on my own. I think this is because I have hardly spent any time on my own growing up. After school I would go straight to dance classes, where there would be lots of people, then back to the boarding house, where I am surrounded by people. Or back home where my mum would help me with my homework or we would sit and have dinner together. Where my sister, would have to wait for my mum to come back from driving me all around the country. I then moved to London at sixteen, where again I had a huge influx of friends, that I spent all of my time with. After graduating, I have spent six months on tour having to spend about fifteen hours a day with people. I am now on another tour where again, I am always surrounded by people. I am completely in my comfort zone when I am with people. So that is probably why I like to be in those situations more than my sister, who has quite a quiet first impression. This also means that she is a lot more independent than I am.
Putting yourself in the limelight, in front of impressionable people is always a daunting task. You want to show yourself in the best light to get the most out of the position you or someone else have put you in. However discouraged you may feel, this is the most important time to empower yourself. You must have not fear when it comes to representing yourself. No one wants you to do as well as you do.
Hofstede said that people from more individualistic countries had a greater desire for affiliation. I can understand this. If you look at a country like Africa. The average individual might not know that many people, but their relationships with them are far greater because they make the most of what they have. Whereas in a highly developed country such as America, life is fast paced and everyone wants things now. Fast food; fast broadband; fast cars, etc. This obsession even includes our affiliation with people. Not only do we need things straight away, we can easily get bored with what we have and who we are with. This is why we don't have deeper relationships with all of our acquaintances. It seems to be that we take what we need from people and that is that. What we now need to utilise is the ability to do that in such a way that people enjoy doing it for you.
This is where who you know is important. Having a network of contacts that can help you is always great. But having this network of people and them either not liking you, or not knowing you well enough is as good as not knowing them at all. Here we find that it is not who you know, but what you make of it. It is always very important to make a natural give and take relationship with someone. Making them happy to do something for you because they know you would do the same had you been them. This is harder when it comes to someone that is a higher status than you are, whether it a boss, or a dance teacher, musical director. You must always look to make a good first impression. Even to the person taking your name in an audition, when you are waiting in a room with fifty other girls. They are often one of the most important people you have to impress. As they could have been put there to watch how you interact with others in a highly stressful situation.
Many people deal with people and situations differently. This I believe is partly innate as the way you are is partly in your genes, it could also be due to your star sign. As Leo, Like the lion is a natural leader, whereas a Cancer, Like the crab, needs it's shell for protection, and so they need reassurance and intimacy. These all really relate to how a person things and the actions that they take. But it is also a development of the mind. Someone who hasn't had worldly experiences will evaluate life differently than to someone who has gained knowledge through experience.
Decision-making is a skill we develop as we grow up, this could be through what our parents have told us, the school we went to, but mainly the experiences we have had. We can choose to learn thing and we can choose to ignore them. By doing this we can find out for ourselves, what we like and what we don't. But how are we to know about something, if we don't allow ourselves to be immersed in the learning process.
In the last reader we touched upon Schon's theories. I went into Google Scholar to se what more I could find on him. I read that Schon said that we build on our experiences, Like lego pieces building a ladder. I have used this metaphor – a ladder, rather than something like house or bridge because you can never stop learning. It is impossible to know everything about everything. This is also because things change and develop. So you could learn about A, move onto B and by the time you get to C, A has been improved or evolved into something else.